Letters from abnormality..

*Sigh* Most of the exams are over and only one to go at the end of January. And I've been out two nights in a row. This is not normal. Like it's not normal that most people have their Linguistics mark but I don't... I guess were living in abnormality.

Tuesday night was out in Zavood with Helen, Ulvika and Pille-Riin, joined by Dagmar and Pille-Riin's roomie. We had nice time, not the best but still! And when we got there a guy stood by our table and stared there. I was just about the say something not normal, when I realized that it was Siim. How come I never recognize him? But luckily he recognized me and this is always nice :) I crashed my bed at about 4 am...

Yesterday I was out with Maarja. At first we were at her place, had a few beer and just some talk. Then suddenly 2 men and a woman walk in to check whether they have an electric cooker and water and electric indications... we were all stunned. And then this woman asks: "How many of you lives here? 3?" Väino: "No, 2" Woman: "Okay, you have guests, I have nothing against it". We all looked at each other... this was quite a laugh...

Later me and Maarja went to Püssirohukelder. A strange place... I mean it was nice to sit there and have a drink and talk but the people there, most of them quite drunk and enjoying the weird music. No, don't get me wrong they managed to play a few good songs as well. And then at the end a guy comes to our table with the stunning pick up line: "Hey, what's up?". I was already impressed... not! But I thought it might not be the best idea to be a bitch and tell them to piss off but I didn't exactly show any affection either. And they were so obviously "ossid". C'mon, you like f***ing Nikki and say that Metallica is crap... well, I was so obviously dressed: my black sweater with white collar and turn-ups, black pants and a black dress on top of them. you really think I like Nikki? Please... Fortunately we got rid of them soon.

When I came home, I expected to creep into bed but I discoverd Liisa and Karin are still up trying to writ their essay. Liisa soon went to sleep but Karin went to bed about half an hour ago...

So today I thought why not read Liina's Georgian trip blog. It was so interesting and I hope hey will continue to write it. And there was this thorn in my heart, it seemed so much fun and I've met some of the people she was there and they are so great. I want to have something like this, too! And I do realise that she's 10 years older than me (sshh, don't tell her that) but I guess that's the problem with little sisters: I want what she's having and I want it now, I don't want to wait for 10 years!

So today I'm gonna enjoy my freedom. I'll go to the library to return my books and hopefully find something good to read. And then snuggle up in bed while reading. Later hopefully go and see volleyball (or should I say the dancers :P). Kätlin asked me to come to the club with her but I'm really not in the mood. I've been out for two nights and I guess I'm getting old. I don't like clubbing anymore, I'd rather sit somehere and have a great talk...

Oh, and yesterday me and Maarja dreamt how wonderful it would be if we all were in Tartu.. all 6.. or 7 of us! Have our own flat, our own little Italian family :)

And finally, could someone please give me some good music, I've been looking for something new but everything I try and listen isn't it. So if anyone has any good ideas... let them show! :)

I wanna be a rockstar...

... coz then I bloody wouldn't have to wrestle with idiotic things like Linguistics. Who's up to make an terrorist organisation to kill all linguists? Can I see any of arms?

Well, as you can assume, my exam was hell. I was so angry with my lecturers because they take a masohistic pleasure out of torturing their students. And what the lecturer/chick said before: "It's very easy, have fun!" Fun my ass!! Frigging bitch!!

But it was nothing that couldn't be solved with cake, ice cream, a glass of wine and dying my hair :D



Today I went to see Jaak Mae Cup. Of course thanks to my "quick" family I missed out on Ave's skiing but I hope she forgives me (*puppy eyes*). But it was fun, even though you were pretty much to your knees in mud and the rain was pouring down and the only snow was the narrow ski track... what a feeling I must say. But at least I could cheer "Hõissa, kauboi!" to the skiers (after that my mom promised to place me in an institution :P). And practise my photo taking abilities (excelent, most of the time I got clear pictures of the track, no human beings there :D This is my favourite picture, the snow is still in the air, but no skier :D
But I felt so sorry for Södergren (or however his name's spelled): to break your stick twice... poor baby!



I'm so tired of the frigging exams, I can't wait for Wednesday morning when I wake up and I don't have to study! I know I have one exam to take at the end of January but there's no need to start studying for it now! I already planned to go shopping, second-hand shops shopping then :D And Tuesday night, I kinda promised to go out with Helen to Zavood... hmm, worth to think about.



Friday night was again a great night with my sister. Although she managed to shock me with the news that she doesn't listen to song lyrics, I still think we can manage. I'll keep bugging her until she is forced to pay attention to them :P



So, back to the title... wanna come to my band? I play triangle!

Summary of 2007

I know it's been a while and the New Year is long began but nevertheless... better late than never. I thought I'd bring out the high and low points of the year. In general, it was a very good year and I have a lot to take with me to the following ones but I hope that 2008 will be even better!



Highpoints: (not chronologically)

• Graduationg high school. One period of my life ended that day and a new one began. How could this not be a high point no. 1? I'd argue about the gold medal. Yeah, of course it was important to me and this was what I wanted from high school but it wasn't exactly for me. It was more like fulfilling the others' (my parents, my friends, my teachers (sic!)) expectations. I'm sure happy that it gave me 3 points I needed to get into English philology which I love studying but otherwise... I still don't know what to think of it.
• Coming to Tartu. This comes together with getting into the university. I wasn't so sure about Engish at first but now I'm getting more and more confident about my choice. I really like even the most boring Grammar seminars at 8.30 in the mornings. And by my GPA at the moment it looks like it suits me perfectly :D And the people I've met here... are incredibly wonderful. They are so much different from anyone I've met so far. Our own little crew of English philologists who are always ready for a night out and play board games and just laugh and be crazy... It's so heart-warming!
• Time spent with friends. I think this needs no explanation and I really can't bring out one certain event. The six-pack, or 7 pack actually, we have is still special no matter where the roads may lead us. Even when in years, our lives might not me so much connected, we still have our memories and our own jokes. This will never go away.
• Family. The closer circle and the extnded version. Year 2007 was the year I realized that no matter how hard we might try to escape it, blood is thicker than water. And I'mactually quite enjoying it, I have pretty great family. And during the end of the year I even got things sorted out with my sister and our relationship has improved from then on!
• 30 Seconds To Mars and The Echelon. It was in April that I first saw the video for "The Kill". Hated it the first time and switched the channel. The second time I could watch it till the end but still... nothing special. And then came the third and fourth time... before I knew I was moshing around the flat screaming "You're killing, killing me...". And from then on my soul was sold. But this is the kind of a devil I like. I bought S/T and it has actually helped me (I still have a shiver going down my spine when I hear "End of the Beginning" and I sware to God, if they play it at London, I'm fucking crying in the crowd! :P). The people I've met through The Echelon are really great, starting with my lovely Elerin and finishing with those world-wide! It really has brought a different taste to my life. And I don't really care about being Emo-Eeva :D (you know what I mean :P)

Lowpoints (there were those as well)

• Separation of the six-pack. You guys were my first real friends and I know this is only the start but it will never be what it used to be in high school. But this is inevtable and I'm so happy for every single of of you when you are happy and doing what you enjoy.
• Not going to England. Although I don't have regrets now, it was a pretty shitty situation back then. I was quite lost for a while and had no purpose or motivation.
• All those times when I had to cry myself to sleep. Yeah, those nights did happen. I think it was very much to do with trying to figure out what the hell am I doing and who I am. I don't think, no, I know I still haven't figured that out but still...

It might be my overloaded brain but this was what I could remember at the moment about the year 2007. Like I said earlier, it was a very good year.

I think I can say that it was the year I finally started to live.

It's the end, here today
But I will build a new beginning
Take some time, find a place
And I will start my own religion
As the day divides the night
Here we are searching for a sign

Watch the men multiply
See them ease out of the circle
Watch your friends run and hide
Help them fall back in the cycle
Here we are searching...

You saw what you get
If you take what you take
Look in the eye of the test
It's all because of
Now there's a feeling I get
When I look to the left
But it should never be sense
Our searching for a sign..

We will fight! Fortify!

Well,well, well... I guess it's time for the summary from last week.

Monday was once again study day in the library. And once again it was me and Helen who totally lost it in the middle. And I refuse to admit that my lecture notes have something to do with it. What's wrong with writing with illegible hand-writing, making arrows between words that just don't go together and all and all just having written down the text that makes no sense nor gives useful information... I've no idea :D


Tuesday, at first the Linquistics lecturer said that the topic wouldn't be included in the final exam. The signal for me and Helen - tic tac toe :D We played it for half the lecture (I got my ass kicked.. badly) and then we switched over to word game hanging :P But I was too good for Helen never managed hang me, no matter how sick words she could think out :)

And useful knowledge from the Religious Studies: once there was an sect called Heaven's Gate. If you think the word sect already screams out "Weird" then there's more.... it was led by alien-twins Do and Ti :D The whole crowd is giggling, including the Professor who is trying to say "This is not funny!". Yeah, it's so believable :P

And then there was the high point of the day: Carol Singing!!! It was so much fun. We had some mulled wine and at first sang some traditional songs like Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, The First Noel, Silent Night and of course Twelve Days of Christmas. Then we had a quiz (we got the second place and a little treat :P) and then came the modern carols, including Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - my favourite Christmas song for years! I kept singing those songs in my head for many days... it really added a little bit of Christmas into my soul. Well, of course Santa Through the Back Door is also a great Christmas song... a little different though :D


Thursday was my Estonian exam. I was so scared of it because my tests weren't so good (C and B), so I really studied for it. Not like in high school. It was a strange day all and all. I left the dorm at 10 to go to do some last minute studying in the library. Then I took the exam and then made my way through Pilvi's lecture and then we took off to Kärt-Katrin's place and I helped them with the Literary Criticism exam. Oh, btw, I still got an A for that!! Wohooo!!! Anyway, I wasn't much of a help but maybe a little still. Then we had some mulled wine (once again) and then Maarja called and I went to her place to have more mulled wine and watch Take the Lead. It's one of the more decent dance movies. It was about 9 when I got there and I draw your attention that I hadn't had returned to the dorm yet. So I planned to be there for a few hours... well, like most good intetions... I got back round 2 am :P
But just as I found out today... I got an A!!!!!!


Friday, Saturday and Sunday I pretty much studied all day. actually it was like this: woke up round 10, breakfast, studying, lunch round 4 pm, a bit more studying, and then Jeff Dunham and Peanut plus crazy talk with Kätlin and Elerin on MSN :D

I also registated to my spring semester subjects. I'm taking up French... and German (!!!) next semester.

Oh and on Sunday.. well, I know my orientation skills are below zero but I once again I managed to suprise myself - me and my coursemate Anna got lost being about 5 minutes away from the town centre :D We were just walking to clear our head and just got carried away with the converation and suddenly we were in the middle of illogical network of little streets and we had no idea which way the centre was :D Thank God, Anna still has more sense of logic, so we managed to making back home :D But still, 4 months in Tartu and it's still possible :P


This is a crazy week, 4 exams... I just wish it could be over... I'm not to much worried about studying because I know I'm right on schedule and I've done a good job studying! But it's this still nerve-wrecking...

And I don't have any Christmas presents yet!!! PANIC!!
(picture is taken from Dana, I jsut fell in love with it!)


One and a half month till London!!

Anarchy in Tokyo...!

I was one crazy weekend!! But a great one! Where to start, I guess from the beginning...


My first birthday wishes came from Aussieland through Orkut. And Maarja was next in line, as usual for her, right at midnight! I had a day off on Friday and so I planned to sleep long. And then 8.15 my sister's godmother (or so to say) called to wish me happy brithday.. Thank you Auntie Evi but you're still such a sweetheart! My day was filled with a lot of suprises from people I didn't even expect to remember my birthday! Like Ressar sent me a marrvelous SMS!
My flatmates here in dorm lighted clandles on a box of ice cream and sang to me :) Everything was just great!


And then it was time for me to comb my hair back and dress up as the Mitch Buchannon! Of course I'm talking about my course party! Kärt-Katrin managed to get us a driver so we could go to the fairy tale like summer house of our coursemate in the middle of South Estonian woods. Half way there it comes out that our driver and the coursemate went to the same class and so our problems with finding the place were solved. When we arrived, there were so few people there. Actually there was too few people present at all, less then 20 but nevertheless we had great fun! We started off with shots of vodka and our driver made a speech for me (I'd never met him before)... it was a long story about a tree and leaves growing... Anyway, we just had good time dancing and chatting. I pretty much settled the whole bottle of wine (which was awful on Wednesday but after the shots of vodka it was as good as ever) and then little later came some more of us. Then I agreed to have a few shots with Sander (my coursemate). I'm suprised because even though drinking wine and vodka mixed, I didn't feel any wasted, just tipsy! I get to talk to a few of my coursemates I haven't really spoken with before, like Kaisa, who is a really sweet girl! And then there was time for karaoke. I sing so loud that my voice was a bit cracky afterwards. But who cared! I sware to god, even when I didn't have the mic my voice was one of the loudest... I guess the vodka and wine did their job! After that some went home and then some went to sleep... so finally there was me, Regina and Sille left, with Karel and Rudolf sleeping on the couch and armchair. We tried to find as silly songs as possible from Hans' playlist. The whole evening there had been hip-hop and Estonian rap, I got poisoning from that I so believe.

Well, anyway, round 5.30 me and Sille started our little trip through the dark and snowing woods to the bus stop. It was about 1.5 km and Sille kept looking back, "I'm just checking for wolves," she said. I was thinking in the back of my mind "Shut up! Shut up!" :D No wolves attacked and we made it to the bus stop safe and sound, both of us yearning for a burger for hours already! Anyway, we took the bus to Tartu, I ran through the dorm and hit to McDonalds to get my burger :D And then took the bus to Paide where Liina picked me up.


At home the preparations for the coming of Viljandi ladies were almost finished. It was only matter of time when they'd come. Asti and Maarja came first and we managed to watch half of Music and Lyrics before Ave and Kristiina came. They took forever to come up the stairs! But it was worth the wait because they brought cake with candles!!


Anyway then it was time for exchanging presents. First in line was Asti because she had birthday bef0re me! We gave her the full princess package. And then it was my turn. Firstly I got open the pack which included black nail polish... how suitable, uh? :D Then I kept trying to open the second pack, when I was finally done with that, the most perfect present came out: a T-shirt saying "EMO" in the front and with the explaination at the back :D I love you guys for that!

Later we played some of the game my sister brought me. I call it Jumanji though the sign on the box says "Tower". Whatever it is, it's a lot of fun. And then it was time to go out and terrorize the citizens of Türi :D We had such a blast in the snow!

The best girls left round 10 pm I guess.. and then I literary crached the bed - I had been up for about 40 hours in a row!!!


The following week was sleepy. On Monday I went to see "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" in the movies. I like the movie, beautiful costumes, great actors and actresses and the atmosphere of Elizabethian England, what more could one ask from a movie!


On Tuesday when I had planned to go to sleep early, I started talking (yeah, talking with the help of mic and headphones) to Shani from Isreal. I know her from the boards and we're meeting up in London. It was so great to talk to her, we ended up talking for hours when I finally took a look at the clock, "Shani, dear, it's 1.45 am and I have an 8.30 lecture, I really should go to sleep!" :D But I can't wait to talk to her face to face, she's such a sweetheart!


On Wednesday I once again went to the movies. I went to see a film from PÖFF (Dark Nights Film Festival) called "Savage Grace". It was a bit disturbing to watch but I liked it. It was Kärt-Katrin's birthday present for me. And she wrote me such a sweet card! Helen also gave me a perfect present: Christmas calendar, I haven't had it for ages! And the Liisa supplied me with a small essential package: soup, tea, tangerine and a candy! Thank you everyone! You're the best coursemates one can have!


On Thursday I took the Literary Criticism's exam... I got 89.5%, which means B!!!! Wohoooo!!! I'm done with that friggin subject! I also went home on that day.

The weekend was spent quietly, mainly just doing nothing. I tried to draw a little, nothing good came out of course, though I managed to suprise my mother with a portrait of a woman I had draw, she didn't believe I had made it...

And today, Sunday that is I went to my basic school Christmas concert. It was so sweet, I got to meet some of my old teachers and I also saw why I want to become a teacher... it's hard to put in the words, but it has something to do with not wanting to grow up. Have you seen "Findning Neverland" with Johnny Depp? I want to be like him in the movie, always have a young mind and I think this is possible in school. And you can inspire kids to do great things! I think I've sold my soul to the devil now... there's a career in education awaiting for me... :P


Okay, I shall end here and try to hold up these two weeks before Christmas. No snow and the Christmas feeling is skipping away, I hope the Carol Singing on Tuesday and "Santa Through the Back Door" will help to bring it back!
I managed to get hold of the unreleashed tracks by 30 last night... they are so goooooodd!!!

Only 2 months till London!!!


Love for my honey bunnies!

Family affairs...

I'm not having the best week right now. I guess the most obvious thing is this row I had/ am having with my mom... I thought about going home to Türi on Thursday (i.e. today) but as we are having a party with our course tomorrow and when I suggested the idea that I'm not coming, my dear coursemates didn't want to hear anything like this. And of course I wanna go there as well: it's my course for god sake! And when I told my mom that I'd changed my mind and that I was going home on Saturday she was upset. She was so worried about not having enough same kind of tea cups and the windows not being washed. I don't understnad why make a fuss around something so simple like me inviting a few of my best friends over for a chat! And I know she's going to nag with me the whole weekend and I won't be able to enjoy my birthday. I actually don't like my birthdays for that very reason: so much fuss just to say "Happy birthday!" and then continue wathing the telly. Right now birthdays have become the occasions to have an opportunity to meet with people I love!

But I spoke to mom on the phone a while ago and she seemed somewhat calmer and not so upset with me. But that doesn't mean we won't have a fight on weekend..

Luckily I've found a great ally in my sister. Tuesday night whenI talked to my mom and got so fired up, she was the one I called to and shared my tears to on the phone. She was all so supportive. Even when I told her like I wouldn't come home if it's all like that. She only said: "Sure! It's your birthday, you have to enjoy it!". And that is exactly what I'd want to do. Just be and have a normal day, go crazy with my friends... So it's good to have a bigger sister after all :D

So on Tuesday (when I was so upset and all) my flatmate Karin asked me if I wanted to go out. At first I thought no, but then I why not. So I went out with her and some people from her course, History students that is then. At first we sat in Maailm and had a beer and then we went to Zavood, the notorious pub in Tartu. It was pretty nice and a lot of laughing. I crushed my bed round 3 am to wake up 7.20 am and go to my Grammar seminar. The funny thing was that I was so much more awake in the morning seminars than usually.

Yesterday, i.e. Wednesday I had such a good time with my coursemates. We had a cooking and wine night at Kärt-Katrin's place. She has a tiny little kitchen but it managed to accomodate about 6 people and we cooked chicken moussaka (delicious!!!) and Kärt had also made blueberry cake. And we had lots of wine and played Alias. It was so much fun, I was together with Annika and we won! But I laughed just so hard and we had a great time jus talking. It's amazing (and I know I have said it before) what amazing friends I have found! And on Tuesday Ulvika came back from Gran Canaria and brought us Spanish Chrismas cookies which were so good!!! And also a small stone. I'm sure the course party shall be so much fun!

Today is Christmas all over. When I woke up today, the first thing my roomie Liisa said was that it's Christmas outside. And I looked out of the window and it has snowed during the night. And by the way, when I was coming home round 2 am at night I wasn't snowing. And they put up the lights on Town Hall square this morning and in the evening when I came from the uni it was so beautiful. And then my favourite lecture said she and some other professor had an idea to held a department christmas "party". Actually something like in a for we had the "Literary café" with Prof. McRae and some carol singing. It would be just wonderful... I can even believe myself that I'm so much in the season spirit...

I wish you all a great weekend!

Was it a dream?

I had the most beautiful dream this morning: I saw we were all at my place and then suddenly L. and J. where there as well. And I asked them how long they are staying in Estonia and they said that until January 2nd and then they promised to come to my birthday as well... And then I woke up to this dark November reality and of course I know you are not coming here! But I miss you all so much at the moment!! I'm so glad to see you on Saturday and I believe we have a lot of catching up to do. And what concerns about J. and L. - spare a thought on us here in the dark November!

Today was once again a study marathon. Only 4 hours today but still at 5 pm me and Helen once again lost it. Helen invented the word/name Warpole and so she tried to make me write down that word instead of the correct stuff. Which eventually she succeeded in: instead of Robert Bruce (an interesting guy who killed a bloke in the church and then didn't want to get punished and crowned himself the king of Scotland) I wrote Robert Warpole :D We didn't made anymore further after that. Stuck with The Hundred Years War and stuff :P I guess it's time I send a few lines to Kate and Charli from the 30STM boards and ask for their guidance :D

This weekend I discovered Foo Fighters for myself. I knew them before but some how the song "Long Road to Ruins" became the song of the weekend for me. Along side with "The Pretender". I advise you to check them out. I know they are the two newest singels and there's so much more about Foo Fighters but I'm only half way through with the discovery! So this is the paragraph: "Eevika's recommendations" :D

But it's only 72 days until London trip! YAY!! :D I just can't wait for it!!!

Love you and see some of you really-really soon!