Who needs please when we've got guns?

For some people there is the notion as 'right opinion'.
How can an opinion be right or wrong? Aren't we all entitled to our own opinions? Oh, dear me, I must have been dreaming that. Mine are obviously terribly wrong.

To err is human. Errare humanum est as the Romans would say.
And yet again, I've been living in illusions. Because obviously some people are not allowed to make mistakes. And when they do, you must definitely point them out and roll your eyes. Yes, it's a must.

You better hope you're not alone.

It's been a long time since I've actually written something on my own over here. You can seek reasons for that in my extremely limited free time; and secondly, nothing interesting has actually happen except for my health failing every now and then...

Some time ago, one of my favourite lecturers said something that really made me think. It was the lecture on the 1960s in the United States: hope, rebellion and disappointment; hippies and student activists etc. She said:

"The 1960s were the last time that the young believed they could actually change the world."

The scary part of it is that it's actually true. When I look around in the world that I live in today, I see so many things that have gone and are going terribly, terribly wrong: the wars are dragging on, there's poverty and hunger, our environment becomes more and more dangerous for us to live in, maniacs and crazy people killing and torturing their 'brethren'... shall I go on?

As much as I'd like to change it, I don't believe that I can change it. I try to live up to my own standards, and I hope that people around me respect them and have similar ones. This is as much as I'm able to do for the world.

"An individual action, multiplied by millions, creates global change"

It is a statement, or should I say, a slogan, from Jack Johnson's homepage. He has, of course, focused on the 'global warming'. (I put it between inverted commas because of what I believe; I do care about the environment but I don't agree with everything that is fed to us.) It is true, of course, but in this self-centered world we live in, is it possible? Or more importantly: do we believe it's possible?

People who know me are aware that I tend to get very much involved in "making the world a better place" but I must admit, I have but little belief in it. I just don't often display it because I have an image to keep.

I think we all have learnt from the history, (and after all, this is what history is for) because the youth in the 1960s did not see the world changing for a better place. Vice versa, the 1970s turned out to be rather miserable. No wonder we've lost all hope.

But as long as we don't turn our backs completely to what is going on in the world, I think we'll survive. Let's just keep our hearts warm and our minds sharp, and maybe, just maybe, we can once again believe in the mankind.

Sounds of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you
"But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

Paul Simon. Sounds of Silence. 1964

I saw Fight Club. Again.

If you could be either God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose? We're the middle children of history, we have no special purpose or place, and unless we get God's attention, we have no hope of damnation or redemption. Which is worse, hell or nothing? Burn the museums, wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa. This way, at least God will know your name.

Chuck Palahniuk. Fight Club. 1996.

Could this Tyler Durden's monologue be the next Hamlet's soliloquy: (I should probably be thrown to death with stones or burnt alive for this sacrilege, but it made me think...)

In the world I see - you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you'll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.

Chuck Palahniuk. Fight Club. 1996

I do care...

"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; . . . any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde."

John Donne, 1623.

Source of all evil?

Such was that happy garden-state
While man there walked without a mate:
After a place so pure, and sweet,
What other help could yet be meet!
But 'twas beyond a mortal's share
To wander solitary there:
Two paradises 'twere in one
To live in paradise alone.

A stanza from Andrew Marvell's The Garden

A letter to a friend.

However hard I try, I am a typical Estonian, so don't expect me to show my feelings openly. But never forget that I do actually care and thank the higher powers for you being here with me daily.
I might be the goofy one always cracking the jokes and going along with silly coversations that in the end lead nowhere. I can be the quiet and serious one. Lately I have felt that I need more me time but that doesn't mean I don't need you. I might have been more serious lately but try and understand me, I have stuff to figure out inside my head and heart. As much as I'd like, I cannot always be the smiling and cheering girl and more and more I wish to discuss serious stuff but sometimes I feel it's hard to break the habit of goofing. So if I'm not in the mood, let me be and know that in my heart I still care so much about.
No matter where you are, I cannot say the words "I miss you" with a full heart. Not because I don't miss you but because as long as I know you're doing fine and having fun, I'm happy and have no selfish reason to be missing you. So I don't miss you but I'm glad for the moments that we can spend together.
I am blessed to have so many friends and sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you because I sometimes take you for granted and take more than I give. But it's not like that deep down inside, I just have a hard time admitting my feelings. You are special to me!
So appologies for me being bitter and cold but there'll be sunshiny days once again.
Yours truely,
Eevika

P.s. - This is not addressed to anyone particular but to every single one of you who consider me as a friend.