London. 30 Seconds To Mars.

Prologue: On October 6th, 2007, me and Elerin decided to follow our hearts and buy tickets to our first 30 Seconds To Mars consert in London, after we had met for the first time the night before. We had to go through the nerve wrecking moment when we told our parents about it. And the the waiting...

And the day arrived. The two days before I had been feeling very bad and having a terrible cold, so I was fearing for the worse but when I woke up in the morning I was feeling great. I checked my bag for the essental things (tickets, flight confirmation, passport and money) for at least ten times and took the train to Tallinn and headed to the airport. Right before Elerin came, I was on the edge of a nervous breakdown: I wasn't sure if I could handle this whole trip. What happens if something happens. But as soon as Elerin arrived, I had to leave those thoughts behind and we headed to the plane. Just before check-in I received a text from Jacky who wished us safe trip and sent her greetings to everyone. It was so heart-warming!

The flight was very boring. I was actually a bit tired but the excitement kept me from sleeping. Fortunately the plane wasn't running late and we arrived to Stansted airport round 1 pm at the local time. For some reason they checked our passports when coming off the plane and as usual I had managed to loose mine in the bag but just as I found it again, they stopped doing that.

Standstead is much bigger then Tallinn Airport but it's not that big and scary as I feared. We made it through the passport check and I still couldn't belive that I was in the UK - a place I had always wanted to go! As we entered the terminal I started to look for a place where we could get a bus to Victoria station. I saw the EasyBus office but unfortunately they only had one vacant seat. So we took the National Express instead. I had my first chance to use my English in the country where the language is born! I hope that Elerin doesn't mind me being such a selfish bastard and talking to all those people on my own initiative all the time. I love talking in English and especially with native speakers.

So anyways, we took the 1. 40 pm bus to Victoria station. The drive lasted for about an hour and a half but it went very quickly because majority of it was in London. So me and Elerin became the crazy tourists trying to catch the glimpses of England and London through the bus windows. The weather outside was amazing: the sun was shining and it felt like spring! England is just everyhing I had imagned and seen from the telly: the small villages around the church, mansons... one day, when I'm rich and beautiful, I'll go and drive around that country for a long time. And London is also so magical: the old terraced houses that are renovated and you think about the history how they once belonged to the factory workers and have now become the lovely doll houses!

As soon as we arrived at the Victoria we headed to look for the Underground. There was a great advertisement saying "Lost at Victoria" and I thought this is us! Two ignorant Estonian girls trying to make their way to where they are supposed to go... But, actually the wonderful things that you become to appreciate in an unknown place are the signs. We just followed them and soon found ourselves in front of the ticket machines. I wasn't actually very happy about the absence of human contact when purchasing the Tube ticket - it so complicated itself and then I, the "master of all machines" have to face this monster.. brr! As we were just trying to figure out the prices on the information table, the lovely worker approached asking: "Can I help you?". An angel. I wouldn't have expected people to come and help you without being asked... it not lie you meet these kinds of things here in Estonia.

The machine was actually quite easy and we got our tickets and headed to Platform one to catch the District Lane to Hammersmith. I thought this is it, but when we got to the platform, there were trains coming and going and we had know idea which one we should get. So I asked this man for help and guidance which he generously offered. At first he said we ought take the Distric Lane to Earl's Court and then go on the Piccadilly Line but as we were in the train already, he corrected and said we can get straight to Hammersmith with this one! (this actually what I though at first, too when looking at the Tube map, but using the Underground for the first time in life, I didn't dare to argue).

I love the Tube: it's quick and once you get the trick, it really easy to use! And people there are interesting as well: who reads, who does business, the school boys and girls with their classy school uniforms.

We arrived to the Hammersmith station and the funny thing with the Tube is that you have to put your ticket through the machine also when leaving the Underground. For me it seems weird... Anyway, smart girls as we are, we didn't have any maps, so we had no idea how to make it from the station to the venue. But once again, all you have to do is follow the signs. There were clear indications to Hammersmith Apollo. At one point we noticed some girls in front of us were wearing Mars gear and it seemed to me that I recognized one of them but as I wasn't sure if she knew me, so I didn't talk to her. But instead we thought that they know where they are going, so we followed them.

As soon as we were on the ground again, we saw a lot of people waiting and we knew we had arrived to the right place. The system of the queue was so genial that we had a hard time understanding it, so we just kept following the Spaniards. They headed to the side of the queue to talk to people and right then a small girl came out and I told Elerin "Hey, that's Shani!". She soon noticed us as well and rushed to us. Words cannot describe how good it felt to finally meet her eye-to-eye and give her a hug!

Right after that the Spaniards turned around and I reconized Christie (or was it the other way around) and we met with other Spanish girls as well: Soraya, Tania and Helena. They were wonderful, you can really feel the difference between the temperament of cold-blooded Estonians and hot-blooded southern people! They were so much fun and they talk so fast! Soon we also met Moran and had a nice talk with her! She's again one amazing person! She told us about everything and asked me how my exams had gone (how sweet of her!) and talked about the previous shows.

Soon me and Elerin took out the candies we had taken with us from Estonia and passed them around. I'm glad to read afterwards that everyone enjoyed them. By the way, I really didn't know that mine (Tallinn candy) is actually rum flavoured. And I remember Tania asking after seeing this: "Tell me please, what is it with Estonians and alcohol?". I couldn't give her any better answer than just that we are drunkards.

We were soon off to find a toilet and guided to the nearby mall by Christie and as we passed the front of the venue, we saw Kate and had a nice chat with her. I soon noticed Linda from Finland and I had promised to say hi to her if I see her, so I was making my way to her, when I was stopped and a woman asked for my board name. After hearing it I also recognized her as Sandra and we hoped to meet after the show so we could go to the airport together. So I talked to Linda a bit and it was so nice to meet her.

When I went back to Kate and Elerin, Linda (from Latvia) and Vita came to us, so we could finally meet them as well! Linda gave us the little calendars they had made in Latvia for us to share with the Estonians. We once again exchanged a few words and hoped that the Baltic meeting does take place!

As we were walking around there with our candy we were suddenly stopped by the security guys, "Hey, can we have some, too?" We weren't greedy and kindly advertised Estonian candy to them. Those guys were fabulous, so funny! And once again we were amazed how open people are and how they come and talk to you. After we had come back from the mall, we passed those security guys once again and they called for us, "Hey, you, we want more candy!" Those crazy guys...

Me and Elerin decided to have a quick lunch comprising of black bread and chocolate, so we headed a little bit away from the crowd (and the security guys) and came back in time to do some street-teaming. We were in the same group with Shani and Spaniards and after getting the stickers, we headed to the mall under the leadership of Shani. We actually didn't distribute many stickers, so we came back a went to a queue which seemed miles long.

Finally the doors were opened and after a considerable amount of time we were inside the venue. Me and Elerin decided to hand in our bags and coats to the cloakroom. There they placed our stuff in black garbage bags (clean ones though!) and gave us a number on the paper (what are the odds for me to loose it... pretty big I must say). And then we were finally in!

We headed upstairs to go to the toilet (we wouldn't have wanted to stand cross-legged during the show). As we were standing, Elerin pointed to a girl in front of us. She had the text "I (heart) JL" written on her cheek. Aww... (with ironic tone). She couldn't have been older than 14. Thank goodness me and Elerin are Estonians, we had quite a nice laugh talking about her in Estonian! If the poor girl would have heard!

After that we made it inside the hall and looked for a good place. At first we were on the left side (when facing the stage). There were some idiots behind us who started pushing around in between the two support acts. Thank God, there was a woman behind us, who was pretty pissed off at them and shouted: "If you fucking push me one more time, I fucking kick you!" or something like that. And the boy (not older than 13 years) kept telling her: "It's a gig, that's what you do!". What an idiot! I probably told him to f*** off and made it clear with my facial impressions that I don't think very highly of him.

Soon we made it to more in the middle and then came LostAlone. I liked them. Christie had sang Blood is Sharp outside the venue and it was so stuck in my head, so when they finally sang it, I was like: Wohoo!! screaming along and having fun! I recognised a few more songs by LostAlone that I had heard but I couldn't put a name to them. Oh, Our Bodies Will Never Be Found was also played, I think. I like that song. Anyway the guys had a great enery on the stage and thoughroully enjoyed their time there. They did a wonderful job warming up the audience for the star of the evening!

The white sheet was put down and the anxciety began. I really can't remember whether this happened before, during or after LostAlone but at some point I felt that I was overthrown with water. Second later I realised it wasn't water, it was beer. My hair, bandana and shirt were wet with beer and I smelt like a friggin drunkard. I felt as if I would have had to explain to people next to me: "Hey, that's not my perfume nor did I have a few too much in the bar!".

We exchanced a few words with the girls standing next to us and tried to maintain our places within this crowd. The security guys were pulling out people who couldn't take this heat and lack of air and also passing round water. I've never been to a rock-concert like this, so this was something new and very positive for me to see. The time actually went pretty quickly, although I could already feel my back (I'm cursed with a weak back and being on my feet and especially standing in once place usually means a lot of pain in the area). But I was ready to forget about it.

So finally the peak of the evening, the moment I had been waiting for arrived: O Fortuna started. My brain could still not accept the fact that I was there, seeing and hearing it live! This was also the moment when all hell broke loose - for the first time in my life I experienced what a mosh pit is. And I have no desire to go through that again in the nearest future. As soon as the curtain came down and Shannon started to drum away the awesome new intro for Battle of One, I lost all control over where I was moving. I was pushed from every direction and I kept falling into people, trying to appologize to them all (obviously hard to do with the loud music and constant moving around). I tried to grab Elerin and make our way out but I did not succeed. I lost Elerin and I was moved to the left side. So I pretty much missed the first song and I love Battle of One, it such a wonderful song!

The next one was Saviour, again one song that I really adore and it was one of the 4 songs I definately wanted to hear. I moved away to more side during this song and finally ended up in the middle of some great people who were just enjoying the concert. So I could already enjoy this powerful song: Don't save me, don't save me, coz I don't care... I had totally lost Elerin and kept looking for her in the crowd but I failed to find her, so I was all alone during the concert.

Now, I might be wrong with the order of songs in the set list but I think that the next one was From Yesterday. A more calmer song and it sounded great. This was when I finally started to realise I'm actually at the live consert of 30 Seconds To Mars: 6 months ago I thought this would only happen in my dream! Then came The Story and after that Jared announced "an old song for the old schooler's in here" and my heart was full of joy and excitement! I know I'm no old schooler, but god do I love the older songs! And it was the second song from my 4 "I-wanna-hear-those" songs: Buddha For Fucking Mary!!! Full band!!! I love this song, love it, love it, LOVE IT! Of course Jared did his crowd surfing thing during it (and notoriously hit some moron in the crowd, my respect to Jared). I was actually more carried away with what Tomo was doing during the show. This guys is so much worth to watch. He jumps, sings along, interacts with the crowd and at the same time manages to play his guitar!! Yeah, I admit, I'm a little fangirl over him! He's just sooo great!

After A Beautiful Lie the singer asked if somebody had seen the video of it and there was a huge roar in the crowd. Obviously quite a few people had seen it! And the came The Kill - the song I first heard from this band that has now made me act crazy. I remember rocking out to it after I had finished my finals last spring in the kitchen while cooking dinner for the family and now I'm seeing it live. I wish everyone have this feeling that I had then. I cannot describe it. The Kill isn't actually my favourite song by them but it is a really powerful song (Finally found a change, I know now this is who I really am!) but the band had really taken care that we (the crowd) are suprised: the Royal ballerinas swayed across the stage like beautiful swans and the gospel choir... WOW! This was amazing!

The first lines of R-Evolve made me realise what I have done (The revolution has began today from the inside...): I have followed my heart, followed my dreams and I'm one lucky girl!! It still brings tears to my eyes and I can't describe it: would you have imagned the same girl who was standing in front of her school and humbly receiving the high school diploma from the head master to be rocking at a concert in London? I honestly didn't. And if it weren't for dear Elerin, I'd still be dreaming about the concert! Anyway, back to the topic... I was singing along this beautiful song when I suddenly noticed that Jared was singing something completely different. And then he sing this line he skipped at some other time. I was really confused: was it me or was it him?

"And now, this is a song about freedom!" said Mr Leto. The third song from "my list", the first song of the second album: Attack. Whenever I'm in a really shitty mood, I can put on ABL and this is the first song from there saying: I won't suffer, be broken, get tired or wasted, surrender to nothing or give up what I started... This really does boost you up with energy, doesn't it? I screamed at the top of my lungs during this song!!

After that song the guys left the stage. I was thinking "NO! this can't be it. No way. They didn't even do The Fantasy. Please come back! Guys?" The crowd was chanting them back when suddenly the spotlights pointed to the right side of the balcony (I had such a comfortable view to there) and there was Jared with his acoustic guitar. The insight of Eeva's thought at that moment: "Oh my f***ing God!" I couldn't believe my eyes. Acoustic song(s). Jared made a speech how proud they are and thanked everyone for coming. Then he asked whether we wanted a new or an old song. I think that even if there were people who screamed "New!" they were outnumbered by those requesting for an oldie. And there came the best version of Capricorn I've heard. His voice was beautiful. I hardly dared to sing along and I kept telling myself to keep my eyes opened because I was so lost in the music. It was beautiful, beautiful... beautiful.

Then came A Modern Myth, if I'd die now, I want this song to be played in my funeral. Yeah, really! So during this song I was looking up to the balcony and then I thought, I'd check the stage as well (Moran did mention Tomo and violin in the same sentence before the show). And there he was, with a violin in his hands. That moment I knew that this is a perfect concert. Tomo on a violin during A Modern Myth. Their first attempt actually failed. Tomo did his part and the crowd screamed in admiration and Tomo waited for Jared to continue but instead the frontman asked him to play his part once again. What came out of the violin then was... not a pleasant sound. The crowed laughed. Tomo seemed to have technical problems with the violin and while they fixed that Jared said he'd play another song. Echelon. Antother beautiful song and while the amazing voice and the wonderful sound of the guitar floated through my body, I felt like I was alone in the crowd. It was just me and music, the 4,000 (more or less) people just disappeared for me. This was fabulous, the song is so beautiful. And when Jared stoped at: What's with the fascination with... and the crowd answered: ...the Echelon I knew that I was where I belong. I'm screwed, I'm obsessed with a rock band and I'm loving it!

Then the second attempt of A Modern Myth and things went great. I told you before, I'm a fangirl over Tomo and especially Tomo on the violin. Beautiful. (I know I keep abusing this word but I really don't have words to describe my feelings). It was just perfect!!!

After the end of the acoustic set, the drummers of Stomp had conquered the stage and Shannon was drumming away with them! I adored it! Drums, rhythm... hell yeah! This was bloody fantastic! And it was so obvious to see that Shannon was so much enjoying himself, he was totally, 120% in to it! You could feel the energy coming out of there, the vibe penetrating your body... WOW! I loved it!!

Then Shannon went back to his kit and they started to drum again and Jared, Tomo and Tim returned to the stage. I actually didn't see Tim practically at all during the show. Only once when he and Tomo switched places. So this interesting drumming intro became the song The Mission and I'm really sorry for the people who were standing near to me during the show. I was screaming along. The one girl in front of me gave me a really mysterious smile during the song. I have no idea what she ment with it but I interpreted as: "Your first concert? Have a blast!". Mission hasn' been my favourite song (I like it very much, but you know...) but this version of it.... WOW! I fell in love with that song once again! What a power!

And then it was, the famous part of the concert: J: Do you live! Crowd: Do you live! J: Do you die! Crowd: Do you die! J: Do you bleed! Crowd: Do you bleed!... ect. The Fantasy. And Jared wanted us all to go f***ing crazy! Oh that song!! You have to love it. The finger thing in the middle and testing the crowd: "Ohohoooooo". We were great, we could pull all everything off that J-rod gave us! I wish that song could have lasted for ever!!

And then they were off... Lights on! It was over... my back was killing me, my feet hurt as hell and I had to find Elerin. I just stood where I was and looked around when Elerin suddenly grabbed my hand. High from the emotions as we were, we slowly headed out hoping to see some of our friends on the way. We saw Moran who had had the great chance to be in the front row and she shared her comment. The only words that I could say were: "It was perfect. A Perfect first show to see". And it was. I was so tired that I just sat down on the floor while we talked. We soon went to grab out coats. I even had managed to keep my number, it was a little torn but it was there! Number 92! We saw Kate once again and went out where there was Shani and Spaniards. We soon hugged our bittersweet good byes and Christe promised to come and visit us in Estonia. Let's hope she comes here.

We headed to the underground still screaming from happiness but it was closed already so we had to take a bus. Once again I used a chance to talk to people and tried to figure out which bus we should take. So I asked one elderly gentlemen. He kindly helped us and asked where we are from, and when he heard we are from Estonia, he was like: "You have Tallinn, don't you? See, I know something." He was so nice.

Anyway, we headed out to wait for our bus and just generally we were floating on air. So there we were discussing the details when two boys came out of the station and asked us what the time was. Before I could answer, thay asked if we were single. I started to laugh so hard, Elerin managed to answer "No!". The thing is those "guys" (with a bling-bling in their ears) could not have been older than 13! Like what?!

The bus came, a double-decker, of course we sat in the up and front, so we could play the bus driver. Not sure if we actually did it, I wouldn't be suprised if I did, it sounds something just like me. My worry was that in London (and to my big suprise, in Tallinn as well) you have to request for a stop. Except we had know idea when our stop was coming. Fortunately we did make it out at the right stop and we again at Victoria Station.

My first concern was to find a drink. I hadn't had anything since the concert and I was dying of thirst. And then we had to find out when and where we could take a bus to Stansted. After walking from the rail station and asking for guidance we went outside and found a bus stop saying Stansted Airport. I was just about to see when there are buses going when a girl sitting in the bus stop asked us wheter we were taking the EasyBus. I said that we didn't know, we were just looking for something to go to Stansted. And she told us that EasyBus was going at 3 am. It was about 1 am, so we had 2 hours to spend. We had a general small talk with the girl (she's from South London and was going to Paris) and then we headed out with Elerin to discover the night in London.

I love London. Even though I only saw a tiny bit of it, I'm in love. Those houses, they are so beautiful. Little doll houses. You can almost breathe in the history and imagne that you can bump into an gentleman with a walking cane and a top hat. He would say: "Pardon me, milady!". And the horse carriage would ride pass you taking ladies in beautiful dresses home from a ball. We photographed many silly things, just because it was London.

The strangest thing were the foxes. We saw two foxes (or one fox twice, does it matter?) and it was quite scary at first. My first thought and Elerin dared to say it out, was "Rabis?!" but they didn't follow us, just continued their normal round. Later I found out that this is supposed to be totally normal.

As our legs and my back was really painful, we returned to the bus stop round 2.30 am and sat down to wait for the bus. Soon I saw Sandra and the ohter German girl go by and they said they are taking EasyBus as well. So the bus arrived and there were exactly 4 vacant seats, so we matched up our money and bought the tickets. The man checking the bookings was looking at one man's paper and then looked up: "This says you are going to Stansted. This one goes to Luton!" Me and the man was also: WTF? and then the man laughed: "Haha, got you there, I was only kidding!" Yeah, nice humour at 3 am in the morning.

I had a little nap on our way to the airport, maximum 15 minutes and when we arrived there we had about half an hour till our check-in was opened. So we just sat on the benches and slept and ate some chocolate. 4.50 am the check in opened and we went there. The funny thing was that they didn't mark the gate on our ticket, so I went to ask about it but obviously it was totally normal and we had to check it later on the screen.

We made it through the security chech and headed to the restrooms. After we had had the chance to change the shirts and refreshen ourselves, I felt like a human being once again and wasn't even that tired. We bought some candy back home and then saw a place we definately wanted to go: Starbucks. I mainly wanted to go there because it's the place taht everyone talks about but doesn't excist here in Estonia. The hot chocolate was rather good there!

So it was soon time to take the train to our gate and while we were waiting to get on the plane, a girl walks up to me and says: "Hey Eeva!" It was my classmate from my first year in secondary school. She left after one year and now was in England. I hadn't seen her for years and now I meet her in Stansted Airport? What are the chances? But it was so wonderful to see her and we chatted throughout the whole flight, so it went pretty quickly. Hopefully we didn't disturb Elerin too much who was occasionally sleeping.

We arrived landed in Tallinn round midday and our little big adventure had come to an happy end. The weather was miserable but it didn't matter. Me and Elerin said good byes and headed to our homes. I had to wait for a bus and walked around the gray streets with a huge smile and satisfaction!

Epilogue: I had waited for the trip for 4 months and now seen what this is all about and I know that my soul will be restless until I get a chance to experience this over again and again and again...

Can't you see that it's just raining... there's no need to go outside... Because baby, you hardly even notice, when I try to tell you, this song is meant to keep you from doing what you're supposed to.. like waking up to early, maybe we could sleep in, I'll make you banana pancakes, pretend like it's the weekend now... (J.Johnson- Banana Pancakes)

Fortunately we don't have to pretend, because it is weekend. I just woke up Saturday morning, or should I say lunch, and I know this sounds like a treason but I loved the weather. The rain was beating at my window and it was really windy and I knew I don't have to go anywhere or do anything. I could just sit comfortably at home and watch the miserable weather, have a cup of hot chocolate and read newspapers. I really felt like doing nothing on Saturday and I don't feel any guilt for that. I was just sleeping through the whole day and it feels great!

I just found out that Good Charlotte is coming to Estonia and even though I'm not a fan of their music, it's still quite good and I've rocked around my home singing some of them alond (The River, The Anthem are a few examples). And it's not that often that artists like this come to Estonia and if there's a chance so close by, I just have to use it. And as soon as the tickets come on sale I'll grab two of them for me and my sister who is longing for a rock-out :) Wohoo.. And my friend from the Netherlands who has seen them live for 6 (sic!) times says they are really good on stage, so I'm hoping for the best!

I know that people who read this blog of mine hardly think of me as an emo and it's just a joke among us but I really got interestd in that subject: what is emo music and who are emos? This part here is not so interesting, so you may skip it :P So I opened up my friend Wikipedia and it says (http://http//en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_(music): Emo is a style of rock music which describes several independent variations of music with common stylistic roots. Such use of the term has been the subject of much debate. In the mid-1980s, the term emo described a subgenre of hardcore punk which originated in the Washington, DC music scene. Starting in the mid-1990s, the term emo began to refer to the indie scene. As the remaining indie emo bands entered the mainstream, newer bands began to emulate the mainstream style. As a result, the term "emo" became a vaguely defined identifier rather than a specific genre of music.

Antother site (http://www.fourfa.com/index.html) suggests the term screamo to indetify the bands genereally labeled as emo nowadays because. And when looking at the names of the bands listed in both sources as the original emocore... I haven't heard anything about them..

But what I actually want to say is that you can label music and people anyway you want to but I prefer not to do that. So call me whatever you want and the music that i listen to what ever you like, it's just a matter of terminology :D

So, I now thought I'd share some discoveries with you. So the "Eevika's recommendations corner" is opened again!

• Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. I've just started to read the book but I quite like it already. It's about an ex-supermodel who looses half her face in a "car accident" and is unable to speak. She goes on a trip to find her future. The book is very usual Palahniuk's book, using certain same schemes as Fight Club. In the latter the narrator uses the frase "I'm Joe's smirking revenge" to describe his feelings, in Invisible Monsters the remarks of the narrator are used as the words of fashion photographer: "Give me patience. Flash. Give me a break. Flash". I really recommend the book, although it has a plot that might be hard to follow as the events are not given chronologically.


• The prelude of AFI's song Miss Murder. It was the night when I was seaching for music to listen to and Elerin recommended me this song. The song itself isn't worth much in my opinion. And please mind the band and their looks, but think about the words and even if you are not a listener of lyrics, just hear the rhythm, the bells and the choir and how it all goes together so well. You can listen to only the prelude here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-AYhozNbao&feature=related


• LostAlone. The band who is going to be the support act for 30 Seconds To Mars in the UK tour and in London. I actually quite like their music, at least the 4 songs they have on their MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/lostalonemusic), I especially like Standing on the Ruin, it's quite a long song but I like the melody and all. Warning!! This is rock, I mean a real rock music!!


• Herring with sour cream and cotton cheese. My main dish here in Tartu, put some salt on it as well, delicious! And take into consideration that I hated cotton cheese before I came here, now I can't live without it. Especially for students, quick and good :P

I have a new hair cut. Again. I quite like it, it's nice and messy and I pretty much can throw away the comb :) And I'm going to dance lesson again on Monday. Like Dana said, dancing is for our souls, it's a passion. And then to Tallinn on Tuesday to meet with Elerin and hang out with my sister!

16 days till London.

Letters from abnormality..

*Sigh* Most of the exams are over and only one to go at the end of January. And I've been out two nights in a row. This is not normal. Like it's not normal that most people have their Linguistics mark but I don't... I guess were living in abnormality.

Tuesday night was out in Zavood with Helen, Ulvika and Pille-Riin, joined by Dagmar and Pille-Riin's roomie. We had nice time, not the best but still! And when we got there a guy stood by our table and stared there. I was just about the say something not normal, when I realized that it was Siim. How come I never recognize him? But luckily he recognized me and this is always nice :) I crashed my bed at about 4 am...

Yesterday I was out with Maarja. At first we were at her place, had a few beer and just some talk. Then suddenly 2 men and a woman walk in to check whether they have an electric cooker and water and electric indications... we were all stunned. And then this woman asks: "How many of you lives here? 3?" Väino: "No, 2" Woman: "Okay, you have guests, I have nothing against it". We all looked at each other... this was quite a laugh...

Later me and Maarja went to Püssirohukelder. A strange place... I mean it was nice to sit there and have a drink and talk but the people there, most of them quite drunk and enjoying the weird music. No, don't get me wrong they managed to play a few good songs as well. And then at the end a guy comes to our table with the stunning pick up line: "Hey, what's up?". I was already impressed... not! But I thought it might not be the best idea to be a bitch and tell them to piss off but I didn't exactly show any affection either. And they were so obviously "ossid". C'mon, you like f***ing Nikki and say that Metallica is crap... well, I was so obviously dressed: my black sweater with white collar and turn-ups, black pants and a black dress on top of them. you really think I like Nikki? Please... Fortunately we got rid of them soon.

When I came home, I expected to creep into bed but I discoverd Liisa and Karin are still up trying to writ their essay. Liisa soon went to sleep but Karin went to bed about half an hour ago...

So today I thought why not read Liina's Georgian trip blog. It was so interesting and I hope hey will continue to write it. And there was this thorn in my heart, it seemed so much fun and I've met some of the people she was there and they are so great. I want to have something like this, too! And I do realise that she's 10 years older than me (sshh, don't tell her that) but I guess that's the problem with little sisters: I want what she's having and I want it now, I don't want to wait for 10 years!

So today I'm gonna enjoy my freedom. I'll go to the library to return my books and hopefully find something good to read. And then snuggle up in bed while reading. Later hopefully go and see volleyball (or should I say the dancers :P). Kätlin asked me to come to the club with her but I'm really not in the mood. I've been out for two nights and I guess I'm getting old. I don't like clubbing anymore, I'd rather sit somehere and have a great talk...

Oh, and yesterday me and Maarja dreamt how wonderful it would be if we all were in Tartu.. all 6.. or 7 of us! Have our own flat, our own little Italian family :)

And finally, could someone please give me some good music, I've been looking for something new but everything I try and listen isn't it. So if anyone has any good ideas... let them show! :)

I wanna be a rockstar...

... coz then I bloody wouldn't have to wrestle with idiotic things like Linguistics. Who's up to make an terrorist organisation to kill all linguists? Can I see any of arms?

Well, as you can assume, my exam was hell. I was so angry with my lecturers because they take a masohistic pleasure out of torturing their students. And what the lecturer/chick said before: "It's very easy, have fun!" Fun my ass!! Frigging bitch!!

But it was nothing that couldn't be solved with cake, ice cream, a glass of wine and dying my hair :D



Today I went to see Jaak Mae Cup. Of course thanks to my "quick" family I missed out on Ave's skiing but I hope she forgives me (*puppy eyes*). But it was fun, even though you were pretty much to your knees in mud and the rain was pouring down and the only snow was the narrow ski track... what a feeling I must say. But at least I could cheer "Hõissa, kauboi!" to the skiers (after that my mom promised to place me in an institution :P). And practise my photo taking abilities (excelent, most of the time I got clear pictures of the track, no human beings there :D This is my favourite picture, the snow is still in the air, but no skier :D
But I felt so sorry for Södergren (or however his name's spelled): to break your stick twice... poor baby!



I'm so tired of the frigging exams, I can't wait for Wednesday morning when I wake up and I don't have to study! I know I have one exam to take at the end of January but there's no need to start studying for it now! I already planned to go shopping, second-hand shops shopping then :D And Tuesday night, I kinda promised to go out with Helen to Zavood... hmm, worth to think about.



Friday night was again a great night with my sister. Although she managed to shock me with the news that she doesn't listen to song lyrics, I still think we can manage. I'll keep bugging her until she is forced to pay attention to them :P



So, back to the title... wanna come to my band? I play triangle!

Summary of 2007

I know it's been a while and the New Year is long began but nevertheless... better late than never. I thought I'd bring out the high and low points of the year. In general, it was a very good year and I have a lot to take with me to the following ones but I hope that 2008 will be even better!



Highpoints: (not chronologically)

• Graduationg high school. One period of my life ended that day and a new one began. How could this not be a high point no. 1? I'd argue about the gold medal. Yeah, of course it was important to me and this was what I wanted from high school but it wasn't exactly for me. It was more like fulfilling the others' (my parents, my friends, my teachers (sic!)) expectations. I'm sure happy that it gave me 3 points I needed to get into English philology which I love studying but otherwise... I still don't know what to think of it.
• Coming to Tartu. This comes together with getting into the university. I wasn't so sure about Engish at first but now I'm getting more and more confident about my choice. I really like even the most boring Grammar seminars at 8.30 in the mornings. And by my GPA at the moment it looks like it suits me perfectly :D And the people I've met here... are incredibly wonderful. They are so much different from anyone I've met so far. Our own little crew of English philologists who are always ready for a night out and play board games and just laugh and be crazy... It's so heart-warming!
• Time spent with friends. I think this needs no explanation and I really can't bring out one certain event. The six-pack, or 7 pack actually, we have is still special no matter where the roads may lead us. Even when in years, our lives might not me so much connected, we still have our memories and our own jokes. This will never go away.
• Family. The closer circle and the extnded version. Year 2007 was the year I realized that no matter how hard we might try to escape it, blood is thicker than water. And I'mactually quite enjoying it, I have pretty great family. And during the end of the year I even got things sorted out with my sister and our relationship has improved from then on!
• 30 Seconds To Mars and The Echelon. It was in April that I first saw the video for "The Kill". Hated it the first time and switched the channel. The second time I could watch it till the end but still... nothing special. And then came the third and fourth time... before I knew I was moshing around the flat screaming "You're killing, killing me...". And from then on my soul was sold. But this is the kind of a devil I like. I bought S/T and it has actually helped me (I still have a shiver going down my spine when I hear "End of the Beginning" and I sware to God, if they play it at London, I'm fucking crying in the crowd! :P). The people I've met through The Echelon are really great, starting with my lovely Elerin and finishing with those world-wide! It really has brought a different taste to my life. And I don't really care about being Emo-Eeva :D (you know what I mean :P)

Lowpoints (there were those as well)

• Separation of the six-pack. You guys were my first real friends and I know this is only the start but it will never be what it used to be in high school. But this is inevtable and I'm so happy for every single of of you when you are happy and doing what you enjoy.
• Not going to England. Although I don't have regrets now, it was a pretty shitty situation back then. I was quite lost for a while and had no purpose or motivation.
• All those times when I had to cry myself to sleep. Yeah, those nights did happen. I think it was very much to do with trying to figure out what the hell am I doing and who I am. I don't think, no, I know I still haven't figured that out but still...

It might be my overloaded brain but this was what I could remember at the moment about the year 2007. Like I said earlier, it was a very good year.

I think I can say that it was the year I finally started to live.

It's the end, here today
But I will build a new beginning
Take some time, find a place
And I will start my own religion
As the day divides the night
Here we are searching for a sign

Watch the men multiply
See them ease out of the circle
Watch your friends run and hide
Help them fall back in the cycle
Here we are searching...

You saw what you get
If you take what you take
Look in the eye of the test
It's all because of
Now there's a feeling I get
When I look to the left
But it should never be sense
Our searching for a sign..

We will fight! Fortify!

Well,well, well... I guess it's time for the summary from last week.

Monday was once again study day in the library. And once again it was me and Helen who totally lost it in the middle. And I refuse to admit that my lecture notes have something to do with it. What's wrong with writing with illegible hand-writing, making arrows between words that just don't go together and all and all just having written down the text that makes no sense nor gives useful information... I've no idea :D


Tuesday, at first the Linquistics lecturer said that the topic wouldn't be included in the final exam. The signal for me and Helen - tic tac toe :D We played it for half the lecture (I got my ass kicked.. badly) and then we switched over to word game hanging :P But I was too good for Helen never managed hang me, no matter how sick words she could think out :)

And useful knowledge from the Religious Studies: once there was an sect called Heaven's Gate. If you think the word sect already screams out "Weird" then there's more.... it was led by alien-twins Do and Ti :D The whole crowd is giggling, including the Professor who is trying to say "This is not funny!". Yeah, it's so believable :P

And then there was the high point of the day: Carol Singing!!! It was so much fun. We had some mulled wine and at first sang some traditional songs like Hark! The Herald Angels Sing, The First Noel, Silent Night and of course Twelve Days of Christmas. Then we had a quiz (we got the second place and a little treat :P) and then came the modern carols, including Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - my favourite Christmas song for years! I kept singing those songs in my head for many days... it really added a little bit of Christmas into my soul. Well, of course Santa Through the Back Door is also a great Christmas song... a little different though :D


Thursday was my Estonian exam. I was so scared of it because my tests weren't so good (C and B), so I really studied for it. Not like in high school. It was a strange day all and all. I left the dorm at 10 to go to do some last minute studying in the library. Then I took the exam and then made my way through Pilvi's lecture and then we took off to Kärt-Katrin's place and I helped them with the Literary Criticism exam. Oh, btw, I still got an A for that!! Wohooo!!! Anyway, I wasn't much of a help but maybe a little still. Then we had some mulled wine (once again) and then Maarja called and I went to her place to have more mulled wine and watch Take the Lead. It's one of the more decent dance movies. It was about 9 when I got there and I draw your attention that I hadn't had returned to the dorm yet. So I planned to be there for a few hours... well, like most good intetions... I got back round 2 am :P
But just as I found out today... I got an A!!!!!!


Friday, Saturday and Sunday I pretty much studied all day. actually it was like this: woke up round 10, breakfast, studying, lunch round 4 pm, a bit more studying, and then Jeff Dunham and Peanut plus crazy talk with Kätlin and Elerin on MSN :D

I also registated to my spring semester subjects. I'm taking up French... and German (!!!) next semester.

Oh and on Sunday.. well, I know my orientation skills are below zero but I once again I managed to suprise myself - me and my coursemate Anna got lost being about 5 minutes away from the town centre :D We were just walking to clear our head and just got carried away with the converation and suddenly we were in the middle of illogical network of little streets and we had no idea which way the centre was :D Thank God, Anna still has more sense of logic, so we managed to making back home :D But still, 4 months in Tartu and it's still possible :P


This is a crazy week, 4 exams... I just wish it could be over... I'm not to much worried about studying because I know I'm right on schedule and I've done a good job studying! But it's this still nerve-wrecking...

And I don't have any Christmas presents yet!!! PANIC!!
(picture is taken from Dana, I jsut fell in love with it!)


One and a half month till London!!

Anarchy in Tokyo...!

I was one crazy weekend!! But a great one! Where to start, I guess from the beginning...


My first birthday wishes came from Aussieland through Orkut. And Maarja was next in line, as usual for her, right at midnight! I had a day off on Friday and so I planned to sleep long. And then 8.15 my sister's godmother (or so to say) called to wish me happy brithday.. Thank you Auntie Evi but you're still such a sweetheart! My day was filled with a lot of suprises from people I didn't even expect to remember my birthday! Like Ressar sent me a marrvelous SMS!
My flatmates here in dorm lighted clandles on a box of ice cream and sang to me :) Everything was just great!


And then it was time for me to comb my hair back and dress up as the Mitch Buchannon! Of course I'm talking about my course party! Kärt-Katrin managed to get us a driver so we could go to the fairy tale like summer house of our coursemate in the middle of South Estonian woods. Half way there it comes out that our driver and the coursemate went to the same class and so our problems with finding the place were solved. When we arrived, there were so few people there. Actually there was too few people present at all, less then 20 but nevertheless we had great fun! We started off with shots of vodka and our driver made a speech for me (I'd never met him before)... it was a long story about a tree and leaves growing... Anyway, we just had good time dancing and chatting. I pretty much settled the whole bottle of wine (which was awful on Wednesday but after the shots of vodka it was as good as ever) and then little later came some more of us. Then I agreed to have a few shots with Sander (my coursemate). I'm suprised because even though drinking wine and vodka mixed, I didn't feel any wasted, just tipsy! I get to talk to a few of my coursemates I haven't really spoken with before, like Kaisa, who is a really sweet girl! And then there was time for karaoke. I sing so loud that my voice was a bit cracky afterwards. But who cared! I sware to god, even when I didn't have the mic my voice was one of the loudest... I guess the vodka and wine did their job! After that some went home and then some went to sleep... so finally there was me, Regina and Sille left, with Karel and Rudolf sleeping on the couch and armchair. We tried to find as silly songs as possible from Hans' playlist. The whole evening there had been hip-hop and Estonian rap, I got poisoning from that I so believe.

Well, anyway, round 5.30 me and Sille started our little trip through the dark and snowing woods to the bus stop. It was about 1.5 km and Sille kept looking back, "I'm just checking for wolves," she said. I was thinking in the back of my mind "Shut up! Shut up!" :D No wolves attacked and we made it to the bus stop safe and sound, both of us yearning for a burger for hours already! Anyway, we took the bus to Tartu, I ran through the dorm and hit to McDonalds to get my burger :D And then took the bus to Paide where Liina picked me up.


At home the preparations for the coming of Viljandi ladies were almost finished. It was only matter of time when they'd come. Asti and Maarja came first and we managed to watch half of Music and Lyrics before Ave and Kristiina came. They took forever to come up the stairs! But it was worth the wait because they brought cake with candles!!


Anyway then it was time for exchanging presents. First in line was Asti because she had birthday bef0re me! We gave her the full princess package. And then it was my turn. Firstly I got open the pack which included black nail polish... how suitable, uh? :D Then I kept trying to open the second pack, when I was finally done with that, the most perfect present came out: a T-shirt saying "EMO" in the front and with the explaination at the back :D I love you guys for that!

Later we played some of the game my sister brought me. I call it Jumanji though the sign on the box says "Tower". Whatever it is, it's a lot of fun. And then it was time to go out and terrorize the citizens of Türi :D We had such a blast in the snow!

The best girls left round 10 pm I guess.. and then I literary crached the bed - I had been up for about 40 hours in a row!!!


The following week was sleepy. On Monday I went to see "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" in the movies. I like the movie, beautiful costumes, great actors and actresses and the atmosphere of Elizabethian England, what more could one ask from a movie!


On Tuesday when I had planned to go to sleep early, I started talking (yeah, talking with the help of mic and headphones) to Shani from Isreal. I know her from the boards and we're meeting up in London. It was so great to talk to her, we ended up talking for hours when I finally took a look at the clock, "Shani, dear, it's 1.45 am and I have an 8.30 lecture, I really should go to sleep!" :D But I can't wait to talk to her face to face, she's such a sweetheart!


On Wednesday I once again went to the movies. I went to see a film from PÖFF (Dark Nights Film Festival) called "Savage Grace". It was a bit disturbing to watch but I liked it. It was Kärt-Katrin's birthday present for me. And she wrote me such a sweet card! Helen also gave me a perfect present: Christmas calendar, I haven't had it for ages! And the Liisa supplied me with a small essential package: soup, tea, tangerine and a candy! Thank you everyone! You're the best coursemates one can have!


On Thursday I took the Literary Criticism's exam... I got 89.5%, which means B!!!! Wohoooo!!! I'm done with that friggin subject! I also went home on that day.

The weekend was spent quietly, mainly just doing nothing. I tried to draw a little, nothing good came out of course, though I managed to suprise my mother with a portrait of a woman I had draw, she didn't believe I had made it...

And today, Sunday that is I went to my basic school Christmas concert. It was so sweet, I got to meet some of my old teachers and I also saw why I want to become a teacher... it's hard to put in the words, but it has something to do with not wanting to grow up. Have you seen "Findning Neverland" with Johnny Depp? I want to be like him in the movie, always have a young mind and I think this is possible in school. And you can inspire kids to do great things! I think I've sold my soul to the devil now... there's a career in education awaiting for me... :P


Okay, I shall end here and try to hold up these two weeks before Christmas. No snow and the Christmas feeling is skipping away, I hope the Carol Singing on Tuesday and "Santa Through the Back Door" will help to bring it back!
I managed to get hold of the unreleashed tracks by 30 last night... they are so goooooodd!!!

Only 2 months till London!!!


Love for my honey bunnies!